Sunday, November 22, 2009


(Here is the third part of the poem. I request the readers to again read the first and second part before reading this third portion. It will help you understand the poem better.)

But,
I question myself; Am I not
Happy? I must confess
After all that is what I sought.
Why regret now for the lost?
The past? This Sisyphean pain
Is the unavoidable cost
I have to pay for choice. I for certain
Want to accept it. But something
Stops me. A human, I’m liable to
Selfishness. Those sweet nothings
I miss, I say do.
Familiarity of the past behind
And ahead is mystery of the future.
In the middle temptation I find;
My mind left unsure.
So much confused. Should I
Believe the new promises made?
And forget my vows, falsify
Old words. Pretending to be unafraid?
Who now has the power to show me
The path I need to tread?
Whom do I trust?


Copyright © 2009 Bhaswati

Image Courtesy of antoniodiaz.jalbum.net (Google Images)

Monday, September 28, 2009

SHE NEEDS YOU



Published in Mahishamardini vol 11 year 2009 (Annual magazine published by Gauhati University Campus Puja Committee)
I
The poignant spectacle producing much,
No... Not much of a difference to you
Not too far yet not too close you wander,
Drift away from the answer: the life,
The universal, the particular.
You imagine, you know, but still fall prey;
Your power of eloquence lies in wait.
But, why just you? am i not equally culpable?
While long queues of questions are hurled our way,
We refuse: to even bother about
Her: she searches for an aid she deserves...
That panacea... that balance...
Eureka!!! Not I.
Have you? We have to. This is not the way
She wants to die. An ignoble death.
Now she hangs by the hair.
Now, have you killed her?
We: a generation of Hollow Men;
We are not indifferent: we are conscious.

II
She Gave you the fields: you built the cities:
She gave you haven, you said you have better;
Creating Caesars ceaselessly...
And those stations of varieties.
As you created this deplorably fake evolution...
Which gives us nothing (while you expected everything)
Nothing, save incessant loneliness.
What did we gain by losing her?
'She never did betray'
Then did you even start it? This
Annihilation, gulping us gradually?
What more did your insatiable greed want?

III
Now as we try to get closer, she moves away.
Because that is not the kind of proximity she wants.
She ants to remain a known mystery.
Why didn't you understand that?
Why don't we appreciate this?
So appeals a few who cares. Why not listen?
It is never too late;
Dum vivimus, vivimas.

Friday, July 10, 2009


(Here is the second part of the poem. I request the readers to again read the first part before reading this second portion. It will help you understand the poem better.)

I decided never to look back. I forswore.
Sure no one can ever sway
me. We will sunder, I never thought
But circumstances deterred me.
I cannot trenchantly say what
I want times to be
And what my retentive mind sighs for.
Unknowingly exacerbating my pains.
All these voices: I abhor
them. They make vain
all my attempts to assuage.
I know their care as genuine, still
I want to be alone as my pains I gauge
And for future make my mind tranquil.
They force me realize my mistake
That I am the one deserving blame.
They say I’m craven and I fake
My feelings insomuch that I am
trying to run from verity, and
That I am fooling myself so.
Pretending to be satisfied, and to defend
my decision. I force myself to show
I’m happy (They’re so true, yes)

to be contd..

Copyright © 2009 Bhaswati

Monday, July 6, 2009


(Here is only a part of the poem)

As the thought comes across
my pensive mind; intuition fails me
Sliding down to blindness; a sense of loss;
Deary isolation kills me.
Grabbed by a real challenge.
Is recollection of the past
a real help? When winds of change
wanting in life so to blow away the dust?
Life hard upon me this moment
Thoughts are measureless, but
reality is not, I understand:
From the world I not shut.
I see a new day coming.
Then why do I crave still
for the bygone? Trying
to cover the only journey impossible
(retreat to yesterday?)
Vainly trying to clasp water
in my fist; cherished fond memories:
Aim at holding on to them forever?
And hover around reality and dreams?
Reconciliation possible no more
Though my feelings are extant even today.

to be contd..

Copyright © 2009 Bhaswati

(image used in the post was sent by a very good friend.)

Sunday, June 28, 2009

MY MISTAKE


‘I rove…languid, dozy
This forenoon.
On the deserted brae
As I versify my feelings.
Not a place to go,
No zest,
Futile is time,
Yet more vain is I.
Malaise, grip me not!!
A complete defeat…
Flicking through I see
Hopes to vanquish
Dead to the hilt
Am I culpable? Inasmuch as
Fain I had done so?
But understand,
I was besotted..
Impelled indeed,
Wheedling I couldn’t shun
(I’m not a Utopian, after all)
Unknown to reality
None to forbid
How I rue today!!
I cajole myself
Anon I shall forego
Betake my own way
Repose in happiness.
Prove wrong your world.
I hope it is venial’, said she,
‘My mistake.’


Copyright © 2009 Bhaswati

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

NEVER TO RETURN


Verily for too short a time
Here are we. In this
World so artificial.
Trying to cater for attaining
Bliss heavenly.
Never too certain of the ways.
Comes a day when we want
To move downstream
Or else, better,
Leave this all behind us;
Too tired to move,
Verve left no more.
With vacuous face returning home
Of the days’ hard work, so weary.
(Such happy but still)
None knows for sure
Beyond the veil what lays
But still we know
For all our deeds, there
He pays. Us or we?
We are starkly sure,
True peace there we’ll learn
And want to pass the valve
Never to return.

Copyright © 2009 Bhaswati

Friday, June 19, 2009

A Godsent Blessing


Woven with a thin thread of trust,
Filling the lacuna of the lonely heart,
Sea of elation it endows
And supplants sadness with joys.
Solves the enigma of grief.
Opens the crest of happiness buried
At the core of the ocean of loneliness.
Hidden treasures it unveils.
Fulfills the paramount needs.
Wants scattered all over are brought
Within the loop of fulfillment
Rectifies all congestion
Transcends selflessness for,
Caring not for what ensues.
Is driven by the unique ideal
To give joys and share sorrows
Does all tacitly for.
Readily cries for a smile to receive.
For, smilingly dies.

Copyright © 2009 Bhaswati

Image Courtesy of www.virungaart.com (Google Images)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

AFFIRMATION


You used to sit there at the dinette
Expecting her to do all the tedious jobs.
Was she so opaque? Or was it that
You were too blind to see her sobs?
With a vacuous face you looked at her.
She was like a Lilliputian to you:
Any precious job unable to shoulder.
But she wanted; and desire in her grew.
New facet of her you started to see.
You shuddered. You looked at her new
And inexhaustible mine of energy.
It looked fictitious to you.
Not just a second wind that
Life has sent her way.
All her aspirations now dawned on her
And she too today holds sway.
There emerged a new hope from the dark;
Set between history and mystery;
The old though not eclipsed, but
It was surely a novelty.
It was so untoward that you tried
To mock her in the crowd.
Your certitudes crushed completely.
But you too had to accept the change.
Making a space for herself now
In a world you once ruled.
And wishes gravitating to her
And sure that she will succeed
To one day receive her due.

Copyright © 2009 Bhaswati

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Paean



Sitting pensively here,
Looking up to the solitary altar,
I can feel the pertinent aroma:
The time so pacific..so serene;
Teem with godsent tranquility.
Much intrinsic to the place
Seems to perfume the aura.
I offer you my reverence-
To the lone which bestows
Palpable calmness easing all fears,
Tarnishing doubts from mind.
Acting as a nova in this somber existence.
Offering placidity to lives.
Adorning feelings with goodness.
I savour the realm of innate peace here,
Endowing me with all I desire.
The satisfaction pulls me hither incessantly.
As though under some magic charm
I cannot ever shun the calls.
So I’m here again today.
Too poor to offer anything,
I extend this ode….

Copyright © 2009 Bhaswati

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